Yes... I am the breadwinner...!

It happened on one of the Saturdays... around 2-3 years back... ! He was some survey guy... the kind who goes from door to door and collects answers for survey questions and also the contact informations...! I have this hunch that these are the places from where your contact information is leaked and then you get a zillion promotional messages/calls everyday... for everything from 'easy money' to 'perfect life partner'...! And I absolutely hate any and every such messages/calls... !

Though the fear of yet another promotional call is quite a reason for turning down any such survey requests whatsoever... there is another reason too... a personality trait... my impatience...!  I tend to lose patience...very quickly !

Long story short... I am not fond of any random surveys... and definitely not on a Saturday morning...! But here he was... standing on my door and asking me all sorts of questions... ! Under any normal circumstances ... I would have turned him down... and that too not so politely...  but for once... I was trying to be polite... and understand his point of view... and also appreciate his effort... :)

He started with the questions... first my name and mobile number which I provided hesitantly... then my education and so on...!  I was happy to help... and he was happy to increase his head count by one... ! 

The survey was going on fine... at least it appeared so... until he asked me..."Who is the breadwinner of the family?" and I promptly replied... "me"... He looked up from the questionnaire sheet to my face... and then he looked beyond me to the dinning table... where my husband and my brother were having brunch and reading the newspaper... and he repeated the question... little loudly..."Who is the breadwinner of the family... Maam?" and looked at me expectantly for the *RIGHT* answer...! 

In that one moment... I felt betrayed... cheated and insulted... ! Here I am... trying to help him... and here he is... looking through me... as if I do not exist... ! Whatever happened to my engineering degree... to my professional qualifications... and to my enviable salary package? Does nothing matter... just because I am a woman? 

Is he the only one who has asked me this question... is he the first one who has asked this question? No... definitely not... ! By now... I should have gotten used to this question... just that I am not YET ready to give in... I am not YET ready to surrender... ! I have worked very hard to create a place for myself... I have slogged for hours and days and months to have a standing of my own... I have fought my way up against all hurdles...! And I am not letting go any of it... not yet... not ever...!

And so I looked straight into his eyes... and replied "Yes... I am THE breadwinner... Indeed"! 

Commuting from Gurgaon to Rohini...

Last Saturday, after a very long time, I travelled to Gurgaon. As I had booked a cab so the travel was quite comfortable. I had all the time and luxury to observe and to realize how much Gurgaon – in particular commuting to and from Gurgaon- has changed over the last three and half years.

Back then I was working with Aricent and was staying as a PG (Paying Guest). My Aunt’s house is in Rohini and I used to visit her and family every weekend, traveling all the way from Gurgaon to Rohini...!!

Phew..!! Now when I imagine... I wonder how I managed to do so... week after week for about 6 months... (August 2006 - December 2006) !! On a typical Saturday, at around 9 am, I would start my journey from the PG accommodation at Sector 22, Gurgaon.

1. My PG was inside an alley, so a rickshaw to the main road -Old Gurgaon Road.

2. On the Old Gurgaon Road,  a shared auto to the Kapashera border (Delhi-Gurgaon Border).

 3. A DTC bus (Route number- 729) from Kapashera border to Dhaula Kuan.

4. Another DTC bus from Dhaula Kuan to Wazirpur Bus Depot.

5. From the bus depot, walking for a while to the nearest metro station - Netaji Subhash Place Metro Station and boarding a metro.

6. Finally getting down at the Rohini West Metro Station, the last leg of journey on a Rickshaw to the my Aunt's house.

The distance from Gurgaon to Rohini is around 35-36 kilometers ... and the travel time between 2-3 hours...!!

Although those trips were by no standards even close to comfortable... they were definitely adventurous and interesting...!! As I recollect one of those typical trips, I am smiling. It sure was lot of fun. :):)

Jo ... Don't go... :)

That day... our first job location was announced... and then she left Chennai....!! That was the last time... when we were together... Me and Jo...!!

It was in the last week of September... 2004...!! We had completed our two months freshers' training (at Cognizant, Chennai) ...  and we were ready to embark upon our professional journey... and so we were eagerly waiting for our first posting...!! It was after lunch... that our training coordinator came to the classroom... with a sheet that had the location listed for each of us... in the batch CS001.

All the freshers' were grouped under various batches based on different technologies... and ours was batch-1 for 'Client Server' technology :)

He first announced the names of the people who were to join at the Kolkata center...  and our names were not there.... and it was just fine...!! And then the names for Pune location followed...  and after a few... he announced Jo’s name...!! I was standing just next to her... and she was happy... (Why not... after all in IT....Pune is one of the coolest locations to be at...!) ... And I crossed my fingers... hoping to hear my name next... but it was not to be....!!  Coordinator finished the names for Pune....  and my name was not announced yet... !! Then he looked up from the sheet...!!

I was getting tense... a bit restless and just then he told... that the people whose names were not called as  yet.... would be based out of Chennai..!! And my heart missed a beat...!! I was shocked...  and... I was sad...  inconsolable....!!  It took a while, at least 5 minutes or so, for me to accept that ... one of my fears had come true.... and that Jo was to MOVE to Pune and I was to STAY BACK in Chennai...!! My eye filled with tears... and then tears started rolling down my face...... I could not hold any longer...!! I broke down and I cried... and I did cry a lot...!! :)

It was not that I had any issues whatsoever with Chennai... or that I wanted Pune or any another specific location...!! I was not even bothered with the hot (or very hot weather) of Chennai...!!Sure... I was not thinking about the language problem that I would soon realize (to be continued in one of the next episodes of the Chennai Series :))!! 

That day... at that place.... the only thing that mattered to me was... that Jo was leaving...!!... I was least bothered that everyone else was making fun of me... and that they were singing in unison and teasing me.... "Jo.... Don’t go..."!!

It’s now almost 6 years that we have not met in person... though we mail at times... and talk over phone sometimes...!! But not distance or time could change the place that she holds in my life...!! She has been a great friend... and a mentor...!! I could confide anything in her... because I know she would understand and that she would not judge...!!

We are two completely different people... from hugely different backgrounds...  upbringings ... faiths... and even mother tongue :)...!! But these differences could only strengthen the bond I share with her...!!

I am blessed to have her in my life...!!

For this... did I do my engineering...?

My manager told me today...that I would be mentoring two fresher's ...joining the organization. ('Fresher' is an IT jargon that stands for a person fresh out of college; joining its first organization.)
 
WOW... I would be MENTORING...!! I can mentor... so it definitely means that I have the qualification to address my mentees’ inquisitiveness.... that I have the maturity to understand their insecurities and fears... and I also have the vision to provide them with guidance on their career path....!! ... And it made me smile... I felt a sense of pride…!!  It is, indeed, a milestone..., rather a significant one, of my professional journey...!!

With some industry experience... now I understand... that though a fresher has education and degrees but that are not enough... professional world is altogether a different ball game... :) On our side of the world... education is important... but experience is what matters more...!! Here... intelligence is appreciated... but diligence is what we look for....!! Though we may have topped our branch... or our college... we may even have earned gold medals... but when we start our professional career... we start afresh… we start it from a zero...!! :) The irony is that I NOW understand this… back then … may be I lacked the maturity :)

I have come a long way from where it started.... some 5.5 years back... and I was the FRESHER then ... :)...!!

That day is still so vivid..., ‘Cognizant’, Tidal Park Office, Chennai and the date was 9th August 2004..., when a crowd of around 500 or so odd people completed the joining formalities...!! We had a qualified brain but an unsure heart.... of what lays ahead... how future will unfold... and where we would be headed to...!! Yes... we were scared then... that day... when the journey started... and life has been a roller coaster ride ever since...!!

After the initial two month long induction training, we were put on live projects... and Sridhar was my first ever team lead (and I still call him TL)...!! At that time, he must be having the similar experience level that I have now...!! Though our work experiences may be comparable...and also the technical skills but definitely not the temperament... and the attitude...!! TL was an awesome mentor...!! He is mature... composed... comforting... understanding... and most importantly, he definitely knew how to handle me… then!! :)..

It was just the first week of my live project...!!TL assigned me my very first work/task… The task was to understand a small module in the application and then write test cases... around it... !! After explaining the requirements… he turned to his system (He used to sit diagonally opposite to me...)… Hardly 5 minutes had gone…that he heard someone sobbing…. rather someone crying… crying hard!! And he looked around… to only find me crying … crying my heart out…!! He was shocked… and confused….!! Lots of thoughts crossed his mind… did something terrible happen??… Or was I not feeling well??… Or did he offend me in anyway??… Or did I fight with one of my friends??...

I was his team member… and he had to understand as why I was crying… so he came to me… sat next to me… then asked, “Manu… what happened??”… I turned to him... and between my sobs… I replied and conveyed my genuine feelings… “For this (writing test cases) only did I do my engineering??”

TL looked at me… at my tear filled eyes and my pained expression… and he patted my shoulder… and told… “Manu… I understand and we will discuss this... once you stop crying...”!!

Now… after all these years… I know… I was damn blessed to have him as my first lead and mentor…!!

He did not laugh at my foolishness (now I know …it was so stupid.)… Nor did he scold me (If I was in his place… I would have got irritated...)… Also he did not ignore me (At least he could have let it pass…) … or impose upon me (After all I was just a fresher…)!!