Eleven Years... then... and now...

Yesterday... I met Sumit... after a gap of around 11 years!! Sumit is my friend from class XI-XII. Thanks to Orkut that we connected five years back... but it was not until yesterday that we actually met... except that we talked a couple of time over phone... may be!!

Eleven years... is a LONG time... indeed a very long one...!! More than a decade ... wow...!!! My family and friends who have been with me through all these years... cannot estimate how drastically I have changed over all these years...!! This is similar to the case ... where people who interact with me everyday... do not realize that I am putting on weight and all of a sudden I meet someone after 2 months... and he/she is shocked to see how much weight I have gained ... !! This is quite normal human characteristics... we adapt to delta changes and it does not catch our eyes... :):)

When we decide to meet ... it felt just normal... as I would feel when meeting anyone else...!! We had decided to meet at CP (Connaught Place,New Delhi)...  When finally I was walking towards the gate 5 of the CP metro station... where Sumit was waiting... it felt really weird...!! I felt curious... excited... scared... happy... confused... and all this at the same time!! I was unsure if we would even recognize each other.... but with all due credit to mobile phones... we could locate each other... :):)

Over these years... so many things have changes... our appearances... our personalities... our priorities... our ambitions... and us...!! :):) It’s not that I did not expect changes... I did...and it is obvious!!

In fact I am pleasantly surprised... that I experienced for myself ....the following beliefs –
- At any time, our priorities are based on the given time, space, age, and needs.
- No time or context is permanent. This too shall pass.
- Everything that happens ... happens for a reason.
- We can ONLY connect the dots when we look back and derive the reasons.

...Now...my career and my marriage top the priority list...!! I am constantly exploring as how to strike a balance between office and home...!! No more examination fever.... but now we are part of the never ending rat race... and that’s the only game we play!! We discuss... finances... and also how the US policies can impact Indian IT sector... all that serious stuff ... :)!! Now... talks are more centered on likes and dislikes of our spouses... and constant cribbing about the in-laws (P.S. my in-laws are just awesome... I absolutely don’t have any complaints:))...!!

...Then... life was all about studies and competitions.... law... engineering... and medical....!! Gossiping... girl friends... boy friends... :) ... Cards... chocolates....and roses :) ... we would discuss comics... movies... music!! We played hide-n-seek... truth or dare... and what not...!! We were immature.... but innocence was intact...!! Pocket money was always insufficient ... but we had a generous heart...!! Competition was so much... but there was no back stabbing...!! Life was so uncomplicated ... so simple!!

Now as I write... I can just go on.... I am absolutely overwhelmed... with how my life has evolved over these years...!!I am not unhappy... rather... by all standards ... I am very happy...!!I have economical independence... I have a loving spouse... I have a home to call my own... and of course I have a good job...!! Definitely ... these were my dreams then... and now they are the reality... so I have more or less achieved the milestones that I had decided for this decade...!!  Still I yearn for those bygone days... Back then... I could trust more... had more faith... and I would not think before smiling... there was no rulebook for etiquette...!!  I did not have any guidelines for managing people.... :) still I was closer to people then..!!

Meeting Sumit was a very nice experience...!! It brought back so many memories... joined so many broken links... we shared those achieved and yet-to-achieve dreams... and we laughed over those long forgotten jokes...!! How we came first and second in the class... and he had issues that a girl beat him at exams :)...!! We just couldn't finish talking... there was so much to share...!! 

We have grown... over all these years... and we have changed... but for those 2-3 hours... it felt as if we were transported back to our old school days... and it was definitely so much fun :)

Begining of a new life...

That one day... and my life changed for ever... :)

Wow... what a day it was...!! Sometimes when I look back... I am amazed... did it actually happen...??

Yes... it did... and it did change everything...!! Literally everything... my home... my identity... my commitments... relationships... priorities... above all... it changed me...!!

What was ‘it’ that brought all these change??
The rituals...???
Or the seven vows...???
Is it the “Sindoor” (vermilion)??
Was it the “Pheras” (the seven steps that are taken jointly by the bride and groom)??

I do not know yet ... I am still exploring!!!

And I thought she is one of them...

We meet a lot of people… but it is with very few that we hit a chord instantly…!! Sometimes I think… my idealism makes it even more difficult for others to relate to me…!! Not that I am a recluse… I do talk a lot …and also I talk to a lot of people but then there are very few with whom I feel at home…!!

I don’t remember how and when and why… we started talking … me and Vartika…!! But I am glad that we did… :)

I still remember… when I told her…that my husband is away… pursuing his MS… she simply asked … which university?? And that made me smile…. :)  This was not the reaction…that I had expected… generally when people get to know about my husband… their first reaction is of shock and then they say… “How did you let him go…?” “It must be so difficult on you... poor you!!” “Hey…you are really brave...”!!!

The thing that she did not pity or sympathize with me… helped me open up to her…!!  I felt … may be she also agrees that… marriage should not stop us from living… from dreaming and from aspiring to fly …!! And now I know this … for sure…!!

We have lot of common traits and interests… like visiting a beauty parlor is the last thing on our priority list... after all…who can improve upon perfection ... :)

Jokes apart…we love reading… we love writing… we love talking and we love debates… we also love fighting for our ideals/opinions…!! What we don’t fight… is for gender equality… because we know for sure… we belong to the superior gender... :)… Of course… you guessed it rights… we are out and out… feminist …!! And we don’t mind letting people know this… :) 

It may be because of my limited exposure/interaction… but for me… she is only the second person (after my husband...)… who knows and appreciates ‘Howard Roark’ and ‘Dagny Taggart’…!! We have a discussion due on virtue of selfishness and individuality…and I am so looking forward to it… :)

For us… career is a priority …. our job is a serious business… and we cannot stake it for anything in the world…!! ... We absolutely love what we do…and our work makes us happy!!

Though we are married and quite happily married… we still don’t fit in the conventional mould of marriage!! May be because… just yet… we are not ready to accept any boundaries… or stick to any definitions!! :) 

We come across as opinionated… at times stubborn… even proud… but we don’t mind it…!! We know … we are different and we are comfortable with this fact :)

She is so much like me in thoughts and perception … yet so different in outlook and reaction….!! She is calm and composed… so unlike me…!! She is direct yet polite…She can communicate her opinion and anger… without offending others…!! Not the last… I so appreciate her sense of humor…!!

There are lots that I can learn from her… and I hope I do…!!

Teas and Coffees...and Breaks...

I yawn… and then I get up…!! My sub-conscious tells me… its time… to take a break… and I effortlessly reach the pantry…!! Habitually … I grab a tea from the vending machine... and come back to my seat!!

Sitting on my chair... and staring at my system... I take a sip....!! And instantly my taste buds send signal to my brain.... Yieekes...!! ...it tastes BAD... it has that peculiar smell of milk powder and it is as usual ...sugar laced... :(  I also know... it will leave a sickening sugary taste in my mouth for at least 15-20 minutes...!! I, sometimes, try coffee instead… in hope of better taste… but to no avail…!!

Well… well... nobody is forcing me to have such a tea or coffee... It is totally my choice... :) In fact… tea/coffee is distinct specialty of the corporate world....!! And so are the ‘Breaks’!!

I take a break...when my eyes are strained... or if I am bored... sometimes when I am looking for a solution to a complex problem... or may be to catch up on some rumor...!! It can be for a quick chit-chat...!! Simply to look around and observe... or for sharing a laugh...or to shed a tear...!! I might want to offer an opinion... or discuss politics and cricket!! Breaks can simply be for the heck of taking one…!! Believe me I always having a valid reason to take a break :)…

My 5.5 years of corporate career… spans ... at three companies... in cities of contrasting cultures... of varied languages...with radically distinct beliefs and upbringings... but at all these place… the corporate culture has imbibed these common characteristics… the tea/Coffee and breaks...!! :)

I had never thought on these lines before... but more I think... the more I appreciate this unexplored ... unacknowledged unity in this very diverse corporate world...!!

As I publish this post…I head for another tea…!! … Of course I need a break…:D

Her daughters need no father....!!

She has done it again.... and I am so proud of her... very proud.

She brought hope and happiness not only to herself, Renee and Alisha... but to all of us... and to all those kids who are still waiting for a home...! Fairytales sure does happen :)... !!

No prizes for guessing... of course she is our own...Miss Sushmita Sen...!!

In 1994, when she won Ms Universe title... she was the first Indian to achieve the coveted title...!! And it was awesome...!!

On June 30, 2000, she was exemplary again... may be one of very few (can be the first as well...! not sure though)... when court handed her daughter Renee...!!

She became the first again on 19 Dec 2009 ... when she adopted her second daughter... Alisha!! :)

Law did not make it any easier for her... She had adopted her first child Renee under Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act, which does not permit a person to adopt a second child of the same gender. Last year, however, the court had passed an order that allowed a person to adopt a second child of same sex under the Juvenile Justice (JJ) Act, so much to her happiness!!!

She epitomizes womanhood... Strength, Independence, Responsibility, Affection, Intelligence, Confidence, Determination, Grit and Love...!! She has been a role model throughout.

She has proved that... to be a Mother... you have to feel like one...!! That is enough... and nothing else matters... !! :)

Kudos to you lovely lady... you make me real proud that I am a woman!! :)

 

You must always have faith in yourself!!

When life throws a challenge at us...the way we react to it...essentially decides the course of our life!! One incidence can so totally change us ... and our life.

If this is a truth that we cannot control life... then this is even bigger a truth that... the way we react to the situation is so totally in our control..!

When a bad situation is thrust on us... we can give up and crib... and accept our failure... but on the other hand we can decide to fight back... and though there is no guarantee that we would come out victorious... but at least then we would have tried and given a decent opposition... and u never know ...we might as well win :)

I watched this comedy “Legally Blonde (2001)”, and I was amazed at the concept behind it. This movie is special for its simplicity. It conveys the intended message of taking up life’s challenge and wining but without any preaching. There is an uncomplicated storyline but still manages to depict the enormity of the challenge posed.

The story is of a blonde sorority queen, Elle, who is dumped by her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is joining Harvard Law School and he believes that intellectually she is not good enough for him. Elle, then, decides to follow him to the law school to get him back. Not only does she make to the most prestigious Harvard Law School, but also learns that she is too good for him and that he is the one who does not deserve her :)!!

To beautifully summarize, I cite Student Address by the Elle Woods -
On our very first day at Harvard, a very wise Professor quoted Aristotle: "The law is reason free from passion." Well, no offense to Aristotle, but in my three years at Harvard I have come to find that passion is a key ingredient to the study and practice of law -- and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world, remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.

This is my first post in the New Year 2010....!! I wanted my first entry to be special... and here it is... :)!!