Leave without any reason...

No... I am not sick...!!
... Also I did not go home or to my in-laws place...for Holi...!!
Any crisis...?? of course not... !!
Guests at home..?? None...!!
Need for me-time.... Nah..!!

Actually there is no logically valid excuse for this leave per say.... And yes... I still...took a day off today...!!

WOW... after a long time ...did I take a leave ... just for the heck of taking one...!!!

In fact… if I can recollect correctly... I think... this is for second or third time in my career of around 6 years... when I absolutely knew... that the leave is without any reason...!! :)

And it did make me happy... very happy!!

Few days back.... when I applied for this leave... I was feeling little guilty... as I usually do whenever I apply for one…!! Sometimes…my husband would tease me... that I behave as if office would shut down... if I don’t go… :)!! ... Not his fault… I am fussy about my office... my work... my client... my calls... and my deadlines...!! I always have some reason... and taking off ... even for a day is a seriously thought about decision...!!

But this time… it was an impulse... definitely...and thankfully... I did not apply any logic to it...!! I am so glad... that I did not...!! Today I had this nice feeling... of peace... and of contentment...!! It was a much needed break... and I relaxed...!!

Living at our own terms… is this not the whole purpose of us working so hard?? Are not all these leaves well earned ... for ourselves... and should not be reserved …for some purpose... or exigency?? Shouldn’t we realize... that office is just a part of our life... and that it should not become the heart of it...!! If going to office everyday is normal... then simply being at home at times…when we wish… is equally normal!!

We work... because we want to have economical independence ... and freedom… of thought and of expression… we want to prove ourselves… we want to grow… we want to reach the sky… but among all this … have we become slaves elsewhere??

My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist...

Quite like other King Khan fans... I, too, was eagerly waiting for the release of 2010's biggest movie... "My Name is Khan"...!! I was definitely hoping that this movie creates history... but not exactly in the manner that it did... :):)... I switched on the TV and MNIK was all over... on all the news channels and news papers ... and then soon on all major chat shows... discussions... twitter... blogs...and what not!! Tragically, all this coverage was not for the movie or its story... rather it was totally focused on one person... SRK... The Shah Rukh Khan...!! All this coverage... the publicity... was not in good taste... It was bad... very bad...!!

All this uproar was triggered by Shiv Sena.... they were and still are protesting against SRK... that is because he is supporting the inclusion of Pakistani cricketers in IPL teams. Their weapon to achieve this goal... is to disrupt the release and running of SRK starrer MNIK...!!

First and the foremost I so totally disagree to the reason of the protest... but if for a moment I let it be...!! Still disrupting the movie doesn’t make any sense to me at all..!! What I don’t understand is ...if we are protesting against person and his ideals... then how in the world... protesting against his film serves any purpose...??? In any film... he is only playing a character... which may or may not portray his own ideals or principles...!! And more so... there are more people involved with making of a movie... they have also put in their money and soul in it... what about them... and their efforts??

Now coming to the reason ... it sounds so lame... so baseless... and so very illogical!! SRK is supporting inclusion of Pakistani cricketers... so what’s the big deal about it?? He is an individual and as an Indian.... living in India ... definitely has the freedom of expression...!! Doesn’t he...?? Shouldn’t he?? I am yet not arguing the merit of the statement made... I am just wondering... if we indeed belong to the largest democracy of the world... and are we abiding with the very core of the democracy...?? Shouldn’t we be free to speak our own mind... word our own opinions??

And then I watched the movie...only to realize... how ironic it is... to protest against this particular movie...!! P.S. - On records... I agree its typical Karan Johor... candy floss... and larger than life film...Still the innocence of the protagonist touched my heart.... The simplicity of the plot is remarkable... and the message is indeed worth the whole effort involved in making it...!! It convey a simple message ... that you should not generalize people’s character... that you must not make opinions against a person based on nationality... religion... creed... color... complexion... gender... or language...!!

If the hatred between these two nations.... India and Pakistan.... is one bitter truth... then there is another truth as well... that we share common roots... and a common beginning...!! I am no advocate of India-Pakistan peace ... and don’t believe that any effort or initiative can ever change the equation between these two nations...!! But I am a strong supporter of freedom of expression....I understand that this is my personal opinion.... and I should not influence anyone else with it or impose it on others...!!

In the movie, Mr. Khan is trying to prove...My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist... and the tragedy is that he has to prove his authenticity and patriotism in real life as well... and still we claim... that we are a free nation...Are we really??

Eleven Years... then... and now...

Yesterday... I met Sumit... after a gap of around 11 years!! Sumit is my friend from class XI-XII. Thanks to Orkut that we connected five years back... but it was not until yesterday that we actually met... except that we talked a couple of time over phone... may be!!

Eleven years... is a LONG time... indeed a very long one...!! More than a decade ... wow...!!! My family and friends who have been with me through all these years... cannot estimate how drastically I have changed over all these years...!! This is similar to the case ... where people who interact with me everyday... do not realize that I am putting on weight and all of a sudden I meet someone after 2 months... and he/she is shocked to see how much weight I have gained ... !! This is quite normal human characteristics... we adapt to delta changes and it does not catch our eyes... :):)

When we decide to meet ... it felt just normal... as I would feel when meeting anyone else...!! We had decided to meet at CP (Connaught Place,New Delhi)...  When finally I was walking towards the gate 5 of the CP metro station... where Sumit was waiting... it felt really weird...!! I felt curious... excited... scared... happy... confused... and all this at the same time!! I was unsure if we would even recognize each other.... but with all due credit to mobile phones... we could locate each other... :):)

Over these years... so many things have changes... our appearances... our personalities... our priorities... our ambitions... and us...!! :):) It’s not that I did not expect changes... I did...and it is obvious!!

In fact I am pleasantly surprised... that I experienced for myself ....the following beliefs –
- At any time, our priorities are based on the given time, space, age, and needs.
- No time or context is permanent. This too shall pass.
- Everything that happens ... happens for a reason.
- We can ONLY connect the dots when we look back and derive the reasons.

...Now...my career and my marriage top the priority list...!! I am constantly exploring as how to strike a balance between office and home...!! No more examination fever.... but now we are part of the never ending rat race... and that’s the only game we play!! We discuss... finances... and also how the US policies can impact Indian IT sector... all that serious stuff ... :)!! Now... talks are more centered on likes and dislikes of our spouses... and constant cribbing about the in-laws (P.S. my in-laws are just awesome... I absolutely don’t have any complaints:))...!!

...Then... life was all about studies and competitions.... law... engineering... and medical....!! Gossiping... girl friends... boy friends... :) ... Cards... chocolates....and roses :) ... we would discuss comics... movies... music!! We played hide-n-seek... truth or dare... and what not...!! We were immature.... but innocence was intact...!! Pocket money was always insufficient ... but we had a generous heart...!! Competition was so much... but there was no back stabbing...!! Life was so uncomplicated ... so simple!!

Now as I write... I can just go on.... I am absolutely overwhelmed... with how my life has evolved over these years...!!I am not unhappy... rather... by all standards ... I am very happy...!!I have economical independence... I have a loving spouse... I have a home to call my own... and of course I have a good job...!! Definitely ... these were my dreams then... and now they are the reality... so I have more or less achieved the milestones that I had decided for this decade...!!  Still I yearn for those bygone days... Back then... I could trust more... had more faith... and I would not think before smiling... there was no rulebook for etiquette...!!  I did not have any guidelines for managing people.... :) still I was closer to people then..!!

Meeting Sumit was a very nice experience...!! It brought back so many memories... joined so many broken links... we shared those achieved and yet-to-achieve dreams... and we laughed over those long forgotten jokes...!! How we came first and second in the class... and he had issues that a girl beat him at exams :)...!! We just couldn't finish talking... there was so much to share...!! 

We have grown... over all these years... and we have changed... but for those 2-3 hours... it felt as if we were transported back to our old school days... and it was definitely so much fun :)

Begining of a new life...

That one day... and my life changed for ever... :)

Wow... what a day it was...!! Sometimes when I look back... I am amazed... did it actually happen...??

Yes... it did... and it did change everything...!! Literally everything... my home... my identity... my commitments... relationships... priorities... above all... it changed me...!!

What was ‘it’ that brought all these change??
The rituals...???
Or the seven vows...???
Is it the “Sindoor” (vermilion)??
Was it the “Pheras” (the seven steps that are taken jointly by the bride and groom)??

I do not know yet ... I am still exploring!!!

And I thought she is one of them...

We meet a lot of people… but it is with very few that we hit a chord instantly…!! Sometimes I think… my idealism makes it even more difficult for others to relate to me…!! Not that I am a recluse… I do talk a lot …and also I talk to a lot of people but then there are very few with whom I feel at home…!!

I don’t remember how and when and why… we started talking … me and Vartika…!! But I am glad that we did… :)

I still remember… when I told her…that my husband is away… pursuing his MS… she simply asked … which university?? And that made me smile…. :)  This was not the reaction…that I had expected… generally when people get to know about my husband… their first reaction is of shock and then they say… “How did you let him go…?” “It must be so difficult on you... poor you!!” “Hey…you are really brave...”!!!

The thing that she did not pity or sympathize with me… helped me open up to her…!!  I felt … may be she also agrees that… marriage should not stop us from living… from dreaming and from aspiring to fly …!! And now I know this … for sure…!!

We have lot of common traits and interests… like visiting a beauty parlor is the last thing on our priority list... after all…who can improve upon perfection ... :)

Jokes apart…we love reading… we love writing… we love talking and we love debates… we also love fighting for our ideals/opinions…!! What we don’t fight… is for gender equality… because we know for sure… we belong to the superior gender... :)… Of course… you guessed it rights… we are out and out… feminist …!! And we don’t mind letting people know this… :) 

It may be because of my limited exposure/interaction… but for me… she is only the second person (after my husband...)… who knows and appreciates ‘Howard Roark’ and ‘Dagny Taggart’…!! We have a discussion due on virtue of selfishness and individuality…and I am so looking forward to it… :)

For us… career is a priority …. our job is a serious business… and we cannot stake it for anything in the world…!! ... We absolutely love what we do…and our work makes us happy!!

Though we are married and quite happily married… we still don’t fit in the conventional mould of marriage!! May be because… just yet… we are not ready to accept any boundaries… or stick to any definitions!! :) 

We come across as opinionated… at times stubborn… even proud… but we don’t mind it…!! We know … we are different and we are comfortable with this fact :)

She is so much like me in thoughts and perception … yet so different in outlook and reaction….!! She is calm and composed… so unlike me…!! She is direct yet polite…She can communicate her opinion and anger… without offending others…!! Not the last… I so appreciate her sense of humor…!!

There are lots that I can learn from her… and I hope I do…!!

Teas and Coffees...and Breaks...

I yawn… and then I get up…!! My sub-conscious tells me… its time… to take a break… and I effortlessly reach the pantry…!! Habitually … I grab a tea from the vending machine... and come back to my seat!!

Sitting on my chair... and staring at my system... I take a sip....!! And instantly my taste buds send signal to my brain.... Yieekes...!! ...it tastes BAD... it has that peculiar smell of milk powder and it is as usual ...sugar laced... :(  I also know... it will leave a sickening sugary taste in my mouth for at least 15-20 minutes...!! I, sometimes, try coffee instead… in hope of better taste… but to no avail…!!

Well… well... nobody is forcing me to have such a tea or coffee... It is totally my choice... :) In fact… tea/coffee is distinct specialty of the corporate world....!! And so are the ‘Breaks’!!

I take a break...when my eyes are strained... or if I am bored... sometimes when I am looking for a solution to a complex problem... or may be to catch up on some rumor...!! It can be for a quick chit-chat...!! Simply to look around and observe... or for sharing a laugh...or to shed a tear...!! I might want to offer an opinion... or discuss politics and cricket!! Breaks can simply be for the heck of taking one…!! Believe me I always having a valid reason to take a break :)…

My 5.5 years of corporate career… spans ... at three companies... in cities of contrasting cultures... of varied languages...with radically distinct beliefs and upbringings... but at all these place… the corporate culture has imbibed these common characteristics… the tea/Coffee and breaks...!! :)

I had never thought on these lines before... but more I think... the more I appreciate this unexplored ... unacknowledged unity in this very diverse corporate world...!!

As I publish this post…I head for another tea…!! … Of course I need a break…:D