I so want a wife...

Notes -
1. The canvas for my discussion is mostly India… but from the exposure that I have got from books, movies, internet , etc., I do feel that I would not be totally wrong even if I generalize my thoughts.
2. I am blessed to have a very understanding and supportive husband and that is precisely the reason that I can even write this post.

The story is of one Mr. A — my brother — who got engaged to this very lovely girl... in July this year (2010) and his marriage is planned for January (2011). I know... all this information appears unwarranted for... but... believe me... all this is relevant to set the right context... :) So coming back to the background story... the courtship period is on and the world is all mushy rosy for A and his fiancée... !!

As A is counting days to his D-day… we tease him for that... at times he defends... at other times... he blushes... and the other day he replied that he is indeed in a hurry to get married and I quote what he said — “Of course....Can't wait for some 'ready home food'...'laundry done'....'bed sheet changed'.....'wet towel being dried'... 'reminder to take handkerchief to work'... :)”

I have known A for a very long time - around 27 years — and we have been really close — he has been my closest pal — and I can vouch that he would make for a very loving husband… but still I felt a pinch of pain that he too has a sorted list of expectations from his wife… !!!

May be deep down in my heart… I had expected him to be different… and to not belong to the crowd…. !! May be I am bit disappointed that he is also one of them — most of the people I meet/interact with everyday — who believe that responsibilities are for the wives…. and the rights are for the husbands…!! People label me feminist… and I don't have any qualms about that… but I want these same people to answer some of my fundamental questions… before they analyze my character…!!

Why is it that when marriage brings new relationships for both — the husband and the wife — then it is mostly the wife who is burdened to play all the new roles to perfection??

Why is it that even after the marriage the son can remain pampered and irresponsible but not the daughter-in-law?

Why do in-laws forget that daughter-in-laws were also brought up with as much love and care as their sons??

Why is it that even after similar education… when there is a need for one of the spouse to quit the job… then it is almost always the wife who is expected to leave her job??

Why is it that if husband and wife plan for family… then it is conveniently assumed that the wife would make most concessions at her job??

Why do people forget that we have also worked as hard for our education and that at times we were also away at hostel like men for studies and so we may not be perfect at cooking from the first day of the marriage??

Why is it that even after drawing comparable salaries that wife's parents are not supposed to be her primary responsibility??

Why is the definition of marriage so skewed.. so different… for a husband and a wife ?? ……………………. STOP…!!!

This discussion is never ending… ever continuing and painful ... and my intentions for this post is not to trigger any serious thought process… it is just a simple curiosity that what have we — wives — done so wrong to end up getting just 'husbands' ?? :):) Sigh!!... I so want a wife...!!